


Kill Me Tomorrow

by sitabethel



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Deathshipping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 21:25:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4452947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sitabethel/pseuds/sitabethel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yami Marik wants to kill Ryou, but Ryou convinces him to do it tomorrow. (Deathshipping, lemon warning for the last chapter).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Patron

**Author's Note:**

> Tategami (four syllables) refers to the mane of a horse or lion.
> 
> The song Ryou sings at the end (yes, very subtle foreshadowing, I know), is called Electric Cucumber by Zilch. With Ryou's love of RPG's and creepy things, I just see him as being a Hide fan boy. (And for all you young ones that don't remember the Pink Spider, that's hee-day, not hide like in hide and seek).

He kept still, the only parts of Ryou that moved were the fluttering of his pale lashes as he blinked, and the fragile, near-imperceptible rise and fall of his sternum as he breathed. Marik's alter ego stood three inches from his face and watched him, like a large cat of prey waiting for his meal to bolt so he could pounce. Ryou inhaled, holding the breath in his lungs before blowing it slow from his body. "Hello," he said.

"I'm going to kill you."

Ryou still didn't move, his irises making a deliberate sweep of the kitchen in which they stood. His gaze ended at the kitchen table and the unopened bottle of Patron Platinum. "The condemned get a final drink, don't they?"

Marik's alter ego's lips peeled back until they carved a crooked slash of smile into his face. "Sure, why not?"

Ryou took two glasses from the cupboards, opened the bottle, and poured a generous shot into each glass. He handed one of the two glasses to Marik's alter ego. The other Marik stared at the glass of tequila and frowned. "I don't want any."

"Don't make me drink alone before I die."

The other Marik snorted through his nose, but accepted the offered glass. He lifted it into a toast. "To your death."

Ryou raised his own glass, eyes trained on the other Marik. " _Momento Mori_."

They both tilted their heads up to shoot the liquor into the back of their throats. "Does that damned Spirit in your Ring have you so resigned that you're not even going to fight me?"

Ryou took his glass and poured them each a second shot as he answered, "resigned? No, but you're stronger and faster and I'd like to think of myself as practical."

Marik's alter chuckled, holding his cup up for another toast. "To the inevitable, then."

Ryou licked his lips, tasting tequila. He nodded before raising his glass and draining the Patron into his stomach.

Ryou grabbed for the bottle to start a third round, but the other Marik clamped his hand and Ryou's frost-white wrist. "No more."

Ryou blinked at Marik's hand on his wrist and laughed. "You're right. I mean, the Spirit went through an awful lot of trouble to steal this bottle. It's a good thing you're killing me tonight, otherwise I'd have to deal with him in the morning."

Marik's alter ego raised a groomed eyebrow. "The liquor is his?"

"Yes." Ryou nodded. "Expensive, too, they kept it locked behind a case. He was proud of himself for acquiring it." Ryou paused, allowing his words to sink into the other Marik's thoughts before adding, "I think he had a mind to drink it with your other self."

The other Marik smirked. "One more round."

"Since I only have minutes to live, I guess it can't hurt." Ryou smiled. "Although, you know, it's a small bottle. I bet we could finish it and really piss him off."

"Tempting, but if I get too drunk, I won't be able to savor your death."

Ryou leaned forward, his lips almost brushing against Marik's. "Kill me tomorrow."

The other Marik's gaze lost focus for a moment as he stared at Ryou's lips, but then he realized what Ryou said and asked, "what?"

"Let's get plastered tonight and you can kill me tomorrow." Ryou shrugged. "I mean, it's not like I can escape. You can kill me anytime you want, right? Like you said, it's inevitable."

Marik's alter ego laughed, hard, his shoulders shaking. He grabbed the bottle and walked towards the apartment's glass door that led to a small, concrete patio. "Bring the glasses."

Ryou nodded, holding a cup in each hand and following the other Marik. Ryou's apartment lay on the third floor. From the rail-guarded patio, Domino City glowed around them, each light from street posts and buildings shinned like jewels resting on a sable velvet backdrop.

Ryou set down the glasses on the ground. "Pour some more. I have an idea." Ryou left and the other Marik shrugged, setting up their third round. Ryou returned with two sleeping bags, he set one down below them as a mattress and used the second as a blanket, spreading it over their laps. From his pocket, Ryou withdrew his MP3 player and connected it to a radio that sat on a small table. Zilch played from the radio's speakers. "What kind of music do you like?" Ryou asked.

The other Marik shrugged his shoulders. "I've never listened to music."

"Hide is my favorite musician."

They sat in amiable silence for a few songs, drinking from their cups instead of shooting. They watched the city writhe a breathe with movement from the cars and people below. From their view, they were gods gazing down on a world barely worth their notice. Ryou glanced at Marik's alter ego from his peripheral vision. "What should I call you?"

The other Marik tilted his head, not understanding the question. He refilled their glasses.

Ryou shrugged. "I don't want to call you Marik."

"But that's who I am, all the parts of Marik he pushed away."

"Well, then I'll give you a nickname."

"Why bother? I'm going to kill you tomorrow. You won't have time to use it."

"I can use it tonight." Ryou thought for a moment. "Tategami. That's what I'll call you."

"Why Tategami?" the other Marik asked.

Ryou stared at his newly appointed Tategami, their faces shadowed by the night sky but lit up in sections from the ambient light from the city below. He felt his breath reflected off of Tategami's face and back onto his own. Drunk, Ryou didn't care enough to restrain himself. He reached out his left hand and slipped his fingers against Tategami's scalp, pulling up and combing his sandy hair. "Because, you look like a lion."

He wanted to bury both his hands and his face into the wild forest of yellow spikes. As he ran his fingers through Tategami's hair a second time, he noticed the other man shivering and Ryou smiled. "You're shaking. Here." Ryou wrapped his sleeping bag over both their shoulders, giving him a convenient excuse to sit closer.

"There's one shot left in the bottle." Marik tilted the bottle in Ryou's direction.

Ryou closed his eyes and opened his mouth. When he felt the cool, smooth lip of the Patron bottle against his lips, he leaned back and swallowed until the tequila was gone. "Oh." Ryou sighed. "I think it's caught up to me all at once."

Tategami laughed.

"I can't bother to stand. If I do, I'll be sick."

"I don't care enough to move, either."

"Then let's stay here. It's really nice here." Ryou dropped his head onto Tategami's shoulder. "Hey, Tategami?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for drinking with me. I haven't been able to relax and have fun . . . in a long time."

He laid his head on top of Ryou's. "I feel like I'm floating. Is this drunk?"

"Yeah, we're pretty fucked up right now."

They both laughed, falling onto their sides and staying tangled within each other's limbs, too inebriated to bother with personal space.

"This music is good," Tategami muttered into Ryou's ear, his eyes closed.

Ryou sang with the song. " _I can see inside your mind now_ _. I know just what you want and how_ _. You know just what I want_ _so do it do it do_ _it. The voice inside your_ _head_ _. Listen_ _to it_."

They fell asleep, listening to Zilch and sweating together under the sleeping bag that protected them from the night air.


	2. Yakisoba and Dango

The next day everyone, regardless of which body or mind, felt too sick to do anything but nurse their hangovers. The Spirit vowed revenge for the theft of his tequila, but then retreated to the Ring to let Ryou deal with the headache and nausea. Marik stayed in bed the entire day.

Because of this, it wasn't until the third day, as Ryou finished cooking dinner, that Tategami walked up behind him and wrapped his hands around Ryou's neck.

Ryou had his hair tied back for cooking and Tategami's warm hands pressed against his skin. His heart skipped a beat with the sensation. He knew he should be frightened, reminded himself three times to be frightened, but couldn't help but relax against Tategami's touch.

Tategami bent down to Ryou's ear. "You got an extra day because I wasn't in the mood yesterday, but tonight I'm definitely going to kill you."

Ryou sighed. "It's a shame though, I just finished preparing dinner – it's yakisoba, one of my favorite dishes." He leaned back until he could see Tategami's upside-down face staring at him. "Hey, Tategami, have you ever tried yakisoba?"

"No."

"You should eat some with me. I made enough for two. It'd be no fun killing me while you were hungry, right?"

The inviting smell of buckwheat noodles, garlic, and vegetables permeated the kitchen. Tategami's stomach growled. "You're right, if I'm hungry it'll distract me from enjoying your death."

"I'll make tea."

Ryou finished the last touches of the meal and served Tategami at the table. As they ate, Ryou asked, "you haven't had a chance to do much, have you? Because Marik's always holding you back?"

Tategami shrugged.

"I know what that's like. I'm used to living each moment like it's my last because I never know when I'll have control of my body again."

"Are you not afraid of dying?"

Ryou shrugged. "I've died before. Everything that breaths will die."

"You really are practical."

"I told you I was." Ryou looked down at the dwindling food on their plates. "Tategami, have you ever had dango?"

"No."

"I have all the ingredients. Let's make some and eat it."

Tategami thought about Ryou's proposition before responding. "I don't know how to cook."

"I'll teach you. Cooking is fun and this recipe is simple."

"Are you trying to stall your death?"

"Kill me today or kill me tomorrow, what does it really matter? I just want to experience as much as I can until my heart stops beating."

Tategami shrugged and grinned. "All right, show me how to make dango, but if this is boring I'll kill you tonight. If you entertain me, I suppose I'll reward you with one last night alive."

Ryou stood up to clear the plates from the table. "Deal."

He washed the dinner dishes and wiped down the counter so they had a clean work surface. Ryou placed a large pot of water on the stove to boil and set a glass bowl and a plate on the counter. He didn't measure; he tossed the ingredients into the bowl. "Come here."

Tategami walked up to the bowl as if it were a trap card, scowling at the rice flour and tofu. Ryou stood behind him, closer than necessary, and reached around his waist in order to guide Tategami's hands into the bowl. "We have to make dough. You kneed it like this." Their hands worked to mixture together until a smooth ball of dough formed. "Now you divide it in half, and half again, and now threes."

"Why?"

"So they're about the same size." Ryou couldn't see well standing behind Tategami so he stepped beside him, plucking one of the dough balls from the bowl and rolling it into his hands. "See? You just roll it like this until it makes a dumpling and then you set it down on the plate and grab another." Ryou demonstrated by placing the dumpling down and picking up more dough.

Tategami worked a piece of dough, squishing the delicate ball in his hands and smearing it against his palms. He frowned at the flattened dumpling preparing to chunk the dough onto the floor.

Ryou laughed and held both of Tategami's hands.

"This is stupid," Tategami snapped.

"Let me show you." Ryou scrapped the loose dough away from Tategami's hands and reshaped it into a round lump. He held the outside of Tategami's hands showing him how to move his palms to roll the dough into a sphere.

Ryou breathed slow but hard, something about manipulating Tategami's hands, large as lion's paws, derailed all his thoughts. He set the dumpling on their plate and grabbed another piece of dough so they could practice a second time. Even after Tategami seemed to figure out the small, quick circular motions required for shaping the dango, Ryou helped him form one last dumpling so he could feel Tategami's hands moving beneath his own. Ryou let go, watching Tategami work the dough by himself.

He displayed the dumpling for Ryou to examine, the grin on his face wide and, for once, not maniacal.

Ryou smiled in return. "See? I knew you could do it."

Tategami snorted, looking away and dropping the piece of dango onto the plate with the others. Once they used all the dough, Ryou carried the plate to the boiling water. He took Tategami's hands again, placing a slotted spoon in his right hand and loading it with dango. "Drop it in the water."

He placed the dumplings into the pot.

Ryou searched his drawers for a whisk. "Good, now do another batch, but don't overcrowd them."

"How do you know when they're done?"

"They'll float."

Next, Ryou poured soy sauce, mirin, and sugar into a sauce pan and turned up the stove's heat. He stood Tategami in front of the sauce pan, standing behind him and guiding his right hand to show him how to whisk the sauce. Ryou had to lean over Tategami's side to see the pan, but stayed pressed behind him. He tilted closer, inhaling the scent of Tategami's skin, he smelt of cardamon. Ryou swallowed to dodge the moan forming in the back of his throat.

"Is it suppose to be doing this?"

Ryou watched the sauce boil. "Yes, it's almost done now." He helped Tategami lift the pot above the heat. They turned off the burner and set the saucepan aside to cool.

"They're dancing."

Ryou blinked at Tategami's choice of metaphor for the boiling dango, it wasn't what he expected. He shook his head and smiled. "That means they're ready. Use the spoon to get them out of the water."

They shocked the dumplings in an ice bath and laid them on a paper towel to dry.

"You'll like this part." Ryou winked at him. "You get to skewer them." Ryou chuckled. "Reminds me of Vlad Tepes."

"Who?"

Ryou explained the history first, then the mythology. They garnished the dango with the sweet soy sauce and divided the skewers between them. Ryou nodded his head with approval. "They're good."

Tategami chewed, contemplating the food in his mouth. He nodded, agreeing with Ryou. Ryou sighed. "I'm really happy. No one's ever cooked with me before, or listened to me ramble about Dracula."

Tategami frowned. "I'm still going to kill you."

Ryou nodded. "I know, tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah . . . tomorrow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The recipe I use for dango I got from the Cooking With Dog show on youtube. If you like to cook you should check it out. Dango is really easy to make and even if you don't have an Asian Market in your town, you can find rice flour in the gluten free section of most stores


	3. Ravenous

Ryou wore his pajamas and prepared for bed the next night when he noticed Tategami's distorted shadow expanding across the floor. Before Tategami could say or do anything, Ryou ran to him. They stood in the hallway watching each other, Ryou holding a dvd case out between them. "Hey, Tategami? Have you ever watched a movie?"

"No."

"This is one of my favorites, it's called  _Ravenous._ I thought, maybe, you know, if you weren't in a hurry to murder me . . . that maybe you could kill me tomorrow and we could watch this tonight?"

Tategami grabbed Ryou's hair and slammed him against the wall. "You're just trying to stay alive one more night."

"No," Ryou corrected, "I'm just trying to live as long as I stay alive."

"You're afraid."

"Not really."

"Everyone's afraid of me."

"The only thing that scares me is being alone. I'm always alone. Even the Spirit and Marik ignore me. That's why I waited for you to watch the movie – when you find something that you enjoy, you want to share it, but no one can appreciate it on the same level as me. I-I thought you could."

Tategami's lavender eyes danced from left to right as he examined Ryou's face. He thought for a moment, still examining Ryou, then asked, "what's the movie about?"

Ryou gestured with his chin and Tategami let go of Ryou. Ryou brushed white stands of bang away from his face and licked his lips intentionally slow and spoke in a conspiratorial tone. "It's about the wendigo. A myth about men devouring other men and stealing their strength, but it leaves you continuously wanting for more."

"Do they really eat people in the movie?"

Ryou wrinkled his nose and grinned. "They make stew out of one guy."

"And there's a lot of death in it?"

Ryou nodded. "Yes. Almost everyone dies. It's such a good movie. And the soundtrack, it's fantastic." He flushed with excitement as he spoke about the movie. "I know you'd like it if you saw it. That's why I wanted us to watch it together."

A low growl reverberated from Tategami's throat. "Dammit, now I have to watch it or I'll stay awake all night wondering if it was good or not. Fine, I'll kill you tomorrow."

"Yes." Ryou cheered, reaching out and throwing his arms around Tategami in a hug before he realized what he was doing. Ryou dropped his arms to his side. "Uh, sorry. I got too excited." He hurried to the living room, leaving Tategami to stand in the hallway, blinking.

Tategami watched  _Ravenous_ and Ryou, having seen it half a dozen times, watched Tategami. Ryou enjoyed each animated expression on the other man's face as he reacted to various scenes. Twice his hand flicked up to touch Tategami's cheek, but Ryou stopped himself both times. Tategami didn't notice, having never seen a movie before, his attention was caught up in the new experience. He held a throw cushion in his lap, and Ryou could measure how much Tategami enjoyed any given scene by how hard Tategami squeezed the cushion. Ryou smiled, feeling like each night they spent together, gave him an excuse to discover a new, secret detail about Tategami's character.

At the end of the movie, as the bear trap pressed Boyd and Colqhoun together and they bled all the life from their bodies, Ryou held his breath, waiting to see if the imagery affected Tategami in the same way it always did Ryou. Boyd, caked in blood, watched Colqhoun die. His eyes skirted across Colqhoun's face, lips slightly parted, fingers almost grazing Colqhoun's cheek but staying posed just above the other man's skin. When it was over, and Colqhoun lay still, completely succumbing to the experience of dying, Boyd settled onto his counterpart's chest. Soft grunts pressed from Boyd's mouth as his own life ended.

Tategami watched the ending. He was silent, but his lips moved as if whispering. His nails dug deep into the throw cushion. Tategami started chewing his nail, a nervous habit Ryou had never seen him do. Ryou owned an extensive collection of horror movies. He could have chosen any number of violent, bloody films that Tategami would have liked, but he chose  _Ravenous_  for the final scene, because underneath the blood and death there was a strange intimacy that thrilled Ryou. He waited until the credits scrawled up the screen before he turned and asked, "well?"

Tategami turned quick to face Ryou, his jaw tense and eyes consuming. He leaned forward until Ryou's back pressed against the sofa arm. Ryou couldn't control his breathing with Tategami's stare so intent. "That's how I want to watch you die."

Ryou's heart raced, not from fear, but because he understood what Tategami really wanted, (understood it better than Tategami did himself), but first, Ryou would have to show him that it wasn't the blood he craved – it was the closeness hidden below the blood and death. Ryou smiled. "What? You mean you want to turn me into stew?"

Tategami's mouth dropped slightly at Ryou's comment. "No, that's not, I meant—"

Ryou sprung up in a sudden, wild movement. Tategami jerked back on reflex and their positions were switched – his back pressed against the opposing sofa arm and Ryou loomed above him. "Oh, did you mean like this?" Ryou mimicked the body language from the movie. His body pressed against Tategami, his irises darting around the whites of his eyes as he studied Tategami's hansom face, his fingers hovering above Tategami's jawline. "Pressed together so you can feel my heartbeat speed up and then ebb? Lips so close that you could reach out your tongue and lick the blood from my lips?"

"Yes." Tategami moaned, his eyes round and his mouth gaped open and breathless.

Ryou permitted the slightest shift in his hips in order to brush his lower body into Tategami's. "Yes? Like this?"

Tategami's eyelids lowered halfway. "Yes."

Ryou repeated the movement, as slow as he could. "Like . . . this?"

"Yes. Yes."

Ryou bit his lower lip, forcing himself to stand, although the movement made his testicles ache. He couldn't catch his breath and felt sweat beading around his temples. Ryou wanted to lunge back to the sofa and finished what he started, but knew he needed to wait. "I better get some rest if tomorrow's going to be my last day alive. Thanks for watching the movie with me. I'll see you tomorrow night, Tategami."


	4. Crimson Spell

The next evening, Ryou kept wiping his hands against the bed-sheets but his palms continued to sweat. He lay with the blanket half covering his lap, the top three buttons of his pajama top undone. He knew he played a dangerous game, if things didn't go  _just so_  he'd die, but the prize was too tempting to not bet everything. He noticed Tategami standing in the doorway and the breath caught in Ryou's throat. They stared at each other for a long, slow-ticking minute. Ryou admired the mess of hair and the way Tategami's spice-colored skin peaked out the black tank-top he wore. Tategami took one step into the room, his bare foot silent against the carpet.

Ryou closed his eyes, wiping sweat from his hands again. He imagined Tategami stole into his room to crawl under the sheets, to slide the clothes away from his body, to press against him, bare skin gliding across bare skin. Tategami's voice, soft and a little winded, interrupted Ryou's day dream. "I, um, I'm going to kill you now."

"How?" Ryou asked, his morbid curiosity getting the better of him.

Tategami walked up to the foot of the bed, staring at Ryou. "My hands on your throat, so I can feel your pulse against my thumbs."

The thought of not being able to breath forced Ryou to breath hard through his mouth, drinking oxygen into his lungs. "That won't take very long, will it?"

"No," Tategami answered. "It'll be too brief, a moment of satisfaction but then the horrible void of never being able to relish the experience again."

Ryou lifted a book from the nightstand. "Hey, Tategami, before you kill me, want to read this with me?"

"What is it?"

Ryou gave him a sweet smile, one far too innocent for all the thoughts rushing through his head. " _Crimson Spell_ by Ayano Yamane."

"What's it about?"

Ryou's smile broadened. The graphic novel was an erotic fantasy about a prince who, because of an item passed down through his bloodline, became cursed with a demon and sought the help of a pale-haired wizard to break the spell. Just as with  _Ravenous_ , Ryou had not selected the manga carelessly. To Tategami, he said, "it's about a cursed sword."

"Is there blood?"

Ryou nodded. "Yes, of course, and this is a manga so everything is illustrated."

Tategami pursed his lips. "Okay, we can read it before you die."

Ryou patted the spot on the mattress next to him, allowing his half-buttoned night shirt to slip down and expose one of his shoulders.

Tategami swallowed, staring at Ryou's shoulder, and crawled over the bed to the spot Ryou gestured to. They sat close so Tategami could see the pictures, the bare skin of their shoulders pressing together. Ryou read out loud. It began with the prince killing monsters, a good start to snag Tategami's interest, and it did not take long before the wizard, Havi, removed the charms around Vald's wrists and released his demonic aspect. Tategami leaned in closer to examine the brief battle between prince and wizard. Havi gained the advantage, binding the demon with magic. Ryou smiled, licking his fingertips with his tongue in order to turn the next page.

"Wait, what's going on?" Tategami blinked at the next spread of pages. His lips parted slightly in surprise.

"Oh this?" Ryou asked as if he didn't already understand. "He's helping Vald subdue his murderous urges in a more . . .  _practical_  way."

Tategami ripped the book from Ryou's hands, holding the pages an inch from his face as he stared at the images of Havi thrusting deep into Vald's body. "I didn't know there were books like this."

Ryou laughed. "See what you'd missed out on, if you had killed me that very first night?"

Tategami lifted his head and stared at Ryou, their faces two inches apart, his expression contemplative and then rueful. "But I'm still going to kill you. I-I can't help it." He turned away from both Ryou and the comic.

Ryou wanted to hold Tategami and swear it'd work out, but it was still too soon. Instead, Ryou sighed. "Then you better enjoy this moment."

Tategami turned back to look at Ryou, the internal struggle Tategami fought apparent through each wrinkle on his forehead and the frown marring his lips. Ryou's hand reached up and his fingertips skimmed the surface of Tategami's face. "Please don't be sad," Ryou whispered.

Tategami chewed on his nails again. Ryou forced himself not to laugh out loud at the thought of how Marik would react the next day when he noticed. Tategami handed the book back to Ryou who continued to read. The scenes alternated with violence and romance and Ryou vocalized everything, even the soft pants, gasps, and growls in the love scenes. In fact, he leaned closer during the love scenes, breathing into Tategami's ear and enjoying the way his voice made Tategami shiver.

Ryou noticed that the scene Tategami reacted to the most wasn't the sex, but a particular moment when Havi kissed Vald's demonic aspect. Tategami stopped chewing on his fingernails long enough to brush his fingertips over his lips. He pinched his bottom lip and then ran his fingers over it once more. Ryou caught himself licking his own lips as he watched Tategami play with his mouth. Then Tategami's eyes met Ryou's for a instant, and Ryou jerked back to the story and continued reading, pretending his cheeks weren't on fire and that he hadn't been staring. As he read, Ryou thought about Tategami's reaction, surprised and rather pleased that Tategami enjoyed the more tender moments in the story, (those were Ryou's favorite parts as well). Once they finished the first volume, Ryou set the book down in his lap and turned to Tategami, who had made it to a different fingernail.

"Do you have the next one?" he asked Ryou, refusing to look at him and instead staring at their legs.

"I have all of them."

"D-do you want to read more?"

Ryou slipped his fingers over Tategami's free hand. "Of course I do."

Tategami shifted his gaze from their legs to Ryou's slender white hand overlapping his darker skin.

"Would you read them to me?" he asked. "I'm better at reading Egyptian hieratic than Japanese characters. I-I can just kill you tomorrow, right?"

"Wear something nice tomorrow," Ryou said.

Tategami gave Ryou a strained smile. "Don't want me killing you in my night clothes?"

"I'm worth the extra effort, right?"

The sadness returned to Tategami's face. He nodded.

"Then it's settled." Ryou went to his bookshelf and retrieved the next volume of  _Crimson Spell._


	5. First Kiss

Ryou wore black, his slacks, shirt, and trench coat all a dark contrast to his white skin. He wore his hair pulled back in a high pony tail that cascaded over his shoulders. Ryou watched Tategami enter the living room, his shirt the dark color of drying blood. They stopped and admired each other for a brief moment and then Ryou walked up to Tategami. "Don't squeeze." He held Tategami's hand and put the fingers on his throat, tilting his head to the side.

Tategami gasped and breathed hard. Ryou placed Tategami's thumb on his windpipe, in the small dip at the base of his collarbone. Even without much pressure, Ryou felt a lump in his throat at the strain from Tategami's thumb pressing gently into his flesh. Tategami reached up with his other hand so that both hands wrapped around Ryou's neck, but he didn't squeeze.

"Hey, Tategami?" Ryou whispered, feeling his words reverberate against his throat and Tategami's thumbs.

"Yes, Ryou?"

Ryou's heart skipped when he heard his name. He had to gather himself back together before asking, "have you ever been on a date?"

"What?" Tategami jerked away, his hands leaving Ryou's throat and lifting up as if to ward an evil spirit away.

"A date. Have you ever been on one?"

"No."

Ryou turned to face Tategami. "Neither have I. It'd be a shame if I died and never even once got to go on a date, wouldn't you agree?"

"Um . . ."

"Tategami, would you like to go out with me tonight?"

"Are you crazy? I can't go out in public. I'd murder everyone."

Ryou smiled. He wondered if Tategami realized that the thought of murdering everyone never seemed to bother him before. "No you won't."

A dark expression covered Tategami's face. "Yes I will. Just because I've been lenient with you doesn't mean I wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice others to the darkness."

"I know, but tonight you won't kill anyone."

"What makes you so confident?"

Ryou improved his posture, his expression haughty. "Because if you kill someone I won't have fun, and I won't kiss you goodnight at the end of the date unless I have a good time."

The blood drained from Tategami's skin until he was the color of raw ginger root. He struggled to catch his breath. "Did you – did you just say, um, that–"

"I said I'll only kiss you goodnight at the end of the date if it's a nice date. If you start killing people I'll take a cab home and go to bed."

Tategami ran his fingers through his ragged main. "Where . . . where do you want to go?"

Ryou blushed, he'd planned the evening, but now that it was happening he felt nervous. "Um, I've heard of a club that might be fun. It's not very far."

Tategami went to the apartment door, snatching a pair of keys off a hook and a leather jacket. "We can barrow Marik's motorcycle."

"Okay." Ryou grinned as he followed Tategami out the door.

Ryou gave him directions and held Tategami during their ride. Inside, people danced on the floor or drank at the bar. The night club's décor was garish and outdated, but the music was good and that's why they were there. Ryou ordered screwdrivers at the bar and they each shot the drink down with a long swallow. Ryou took Tategami's hand and dragged him to a dark corner in the back of the club. The shadows wrapped around them. Ryou felt as if they embraced them, (which perhaps wasn't completely untrue since he wore the Ring).

Tategami drank in his surroundings with wide eyes. He expression became thoughtful. "Ryou, why aren't there any women here?"

"Because it's not that kind of club, Tategami." Ryou hoped his vague answer sufficed because he didn't want get into a conversation about sexual preferences. Nor did Ryou, with his almost supernatural ability to attract bullies, want to explain why a typical club might put them in a situation where Tategami (or the Spirit, hell maybe both together)  _would_  kill someone. However, Hide rescued them,  _Electric Cucumber_ shaking the club speakers before Tategami could further question.

Tategami's face beamed when he heard the introduction. "I like this song."

"Dance with me." Ryou stepped closer. They moved in time with the music, Ryou shocked at how well Tategami danced. Ryou expected his date to be awkward and stiff, but Tategami's lionesque physique matched his namesake in both strength and grace.

By the end of the song sweat glazed their bodies, but they didn't stop. Song after song they moved together, bodies grinding together with short, light bursts of pressure, their fingers reaching out and lighting on hips or shoulders. As the night wore on, Ryou ordered another round of drinks. They didn't talk much, the music thrumming through the speakers made speech inconvenient, but they did communicate as they danced. The soft brushing of their fingers became harder, slower petting with full palms that traveled down their arms or slipped past their waists and across their backs. They kept leaning close, lips trying to pull together on their own. Another song finished and Ryou tilted his head towards the door, suggesting that they should leave.

Tategami nodded and they met the cool, night air with welcome. When they returned to the apartment, they slung their coats over the back of a kitchen chair. Tategami reached out for Ryou, but Ryou eluded him. Ryou smiled over his shoulder and said, "come outside to the patio. I need the fresh air."

Ryou leaned against the patio-railing, listening to the traffic below. Tategami appeared and Ryou slipped his left hand around Tategami's waist and held his right hand up to Tategami's cheek. "You look nice," Ryou whispered, "but especially now with all the light and shadow playing on your face like that first night. And you didn't kill anyone."

"I forgot other people were there."

"That's because I'm your target." Ryou smiled. "A good hunter doesn't take his eyes away from their prey."

Their conversation slipped into silence as they stared at each other. Ryou, still holding Tategami's cheek, brushed his thumb against the skin. "Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Because I want to make this moment sweet."

Tategami closed his eyes, breathing through his mouth, his chest bobbing up and down. Ryou removed his other hand from Tategami's hip and cradled the back of Tategami's head, bringing their lips together. As their lips caressed, Tategami whimpered and pressed his body against Ryou's.

When Ryou pulled away he saw it again, the struggle on Tategami's face as he tried to decide what to do next, teetering between the choices of kiss or kill. Tategami slipped his hands up Ryou's chest and towards his throat. Ryou closed his eyes and sighed, deciding to trust Tategami and whatever happened next. As Tategami's thumbs brushed his throat, Ryou held his breath and relaxed his body. In a sweeping movement, Tategami scooped Ryou into his arms and set Ryou's ass down on the patio railing. Tategami kissed him, leaning forward and encouraging Ryou to lean backwards past the railing. Ryou's white ponytail whipped through the wind. For not one moment was Ryou afraid as he hovered three stories above ground – he was in Tategami's arms. He tasted Tategami's mouth, orange juice and vodka still clinging to their tongues.


	6. A Bath By Candlelight

The next day the Spirit tried to reclaim Ryou's body, but Ryou refused. He and Tategami had kissed until dawn set fire to the patio, painting it orange and gold. Now he lay in bed. Ryou felt tired, but he wanted to replay the previous night in his mind as he brushed his fingers over the sheets in the area Tategami had lain the night before when they read  _Crimson Spell_  together. When he felt the Spirit tug at his consciousness Ryou thought,  _not today._  Not today and not tomorrow, Ryou realized. He felt a strange entitlement to his body that he'd forgotten having been possessed for so long. Every nerve thrummed with sexual tension and he wanted to savor it, more so, he needed Tategami to experience it. When the pressure couldn't be bared, when they clawed at each other's clothes without being able to control their fingers, when Tategami's lust snapped like a taunt harp string and consumed his need for violence in its greed, that's when they'd be able to release, but not until then. That meant the Spirit and Marik would have to wait as well.

Ryou felt the tines on the Ring flick to life. He pulled the Ring off his neck before they stabbed into his chest. Keeping the Ring out in front of him as if it were a miss-behaving kitten being held by the scruff of the neck, Ryou walked down the hallway and into the living room. He opened the patio door and leaned over the railing, holding the Ring over the street below. "Easy way or hard way," Ryou spoke to the Ring, "you run around in my body every day like you own it and I hardly fight you except when it's absolutely necessary. Well, it's necessary this time."

He could feel the Spirit laughing.

The tines in the Ring went slack, jingling in the wind like chimes. Ryou exhaled, surprised that they'd reached an understanding without significant drama. Ryou replaced the Ring around his neck and went inside. He noticed Marik watching him from the couch. Ryou gave him a cheerful smile. "Good morning."

Marik didn't respond, but the look on his face said,  _you're the wrong Bakura._

Ryou shrugged,  _and you're the wrong Marik._

They ignored each other throughout the day. When Ryou noticed Marik rubbing his temples to ward off a headache, he went into the bathroom and drew a bath. He found candles in his room and lit them, setting them near the tub. Ryou removed his clothes and stood near the bath as he waited. Two minutes later, the door opened and Tategami peaked inside. Ryou turned to face him, naked except for the flicker of candle light dancing across his pale skin. He wanted to look tempting, but couldn't decide how to stand or what to do with his hands, so he stood still with his hands pressed into his sides.

Tategami stepped into the bathroom, shutting the door and removing his shirt. As he drew near, Ryou stepped back into the bathtub, first his left foot and then his right. His eyes never left Tategami. When Ryou was within reach, Tategami wrapped his arms around Ryou's back and pulled them together, kissing Ryou's mouth. Ryou stood in the tub; Tategami stood outside of it. Ryou reached down and unfastened Tategami's pants, dropping them and his boxers to the bathmat. Tategami stepped out of his clothes and into the water. He pulled his mouth away from Ryou's lips and planted a kiss on Ryou's windpipe. Ryou tilted his head back to expose as much of his throat as he could, Tategami continued to press kisses into the center of his collarbone. He paced each kiss slow, allowing his lips to linger on Ryou's skin.

Ryou lost his fingers in Tategami's hair. He opened his mouth to call out, but couldn't remember how to speak while Tategami kissed his body. Tategami moved his lips, curving to the nape of Ryou's neck. He experimented, sucking and licking in small intervals, then he bit down hard, but not violent, and Ryou found his voice, breathing out a long  _oh_ _._

Ryou pressed down on Tategami's shoulders, encouraging him to sit into the water. Ryou situated himself in Tategami's lap, their legs splayed out in opposite directions as they faced each other. Because of the way they sat, their erections pressed together, the warm water surrounding them heightening the sensation of skin touching skin. They stopped kissing, grasping each others shoulders and panting while staring at each other. Ryou squeezed his eyes shut. He'd planned on waiting one more night. He planned on using the bath as an excuse to make Tategami agree, one last time, not to kill him until tomorrow, but he couldn't think. Instinct clawed into every neuron in his brain and dragged Ryou along like puppet. He rocked his hips under the water so that he and Tategami rubbed against each other, and at that moment he didn't care if he survived the night. There was only  _this this this_ , candlelight and warm water and Tategami's mouth against his own.

Tategami reached under the water and squeezed both of them with his broad hand. Ryou moaned and jerked upward, splashing water out of the tub. Tategami repeated the action, reducing Ryou to a string of out-of-breath gasps as he leaned against Tategami's chest.

"Is that . . . good?" Tategami asked, his voice sounded confused, as if he couldn't quit tell if Ryou's noises were from pain or pleasure.

"Yes." Ryou forced his eyes open so he could look at Tategami as he answered the question.

An insecure smile decorated Tategami's face, but it faded into something sad and fearful. "I need to know the truth," Tategami whispered, "please tell me the truth."

Ryou snapped back into his rational thinking mind. He slid an inch back so they weren't rubbing against each other and rested his right hand on Tategami's chest. "What is it?"

"Every night . . . is this just to stay alive? Or, or, I mean, you can't really want to be with me. I'm all the parts that were unwanted."

Ryou's mouth dropped open at the words, they made him feel as if a burning needle slid into his heart. "You're not unwanted." Ryou held both sides of Tategami's face. "Listen to me, maybe that first night I was just trying to buy time, but I had so much fun that every night this week I've been looking forward to seeing you."

Tategami blinked, his eyes round. "Really?"

"Why do you think the Spirit never takes over to fight you?"

"So you . . . really . . . like . . . me?"

Ryou pushed a kiss into his mouth, working his fingers through Tategami's hair. "You're the only thing I can think about, when you aren't making me too dizzy to think." He kissed him again.

Tategami flung his arms around Ryou, holding him tight. "Never stop making excuses. Never stop thinking of other things to do. I . . . I . . ." A sharp, jagged noise escaped from Tategami's mouth and his chest jerked.

Ryou petted his hair as he cried, his other arm wrapped tight around his back and squeezing hard.

Tategami continued talking through the high-pitched, broken sobs. "I don't want to kill you. You're the first thing I haven't wanted to kill since I was created, but I'm still afraid I might."

"That's so beautiful," Ryou whispered. "It's been a long time since I've felt that anyone cared about me." He paused, thinking before he spoke, "I guess this is the first time someone's cared about you."

Tategami didn't answer, he merely nodded his head into Ryou's shoulder as his tears subsided.

Ryou kissed his temple, still petting yellow flames of hair. "Can I wash your hair?"

"What?"

"Your hair. I love it. That's why I called you Tategami." Ryou looked away. "I mean, I'm sorry, maybe it was a stupid question. I just really wanted to play with it."

Tategami grabbed the shampoo bottle and placed it in Ryou's hand.

Ryou smiled. "We need to get it wet." He cupped his hand behind Tategami's head and tilted him backward. Ryou had to squat over Tategami to give him room to lean back. When he came back up the long strips sagged, dripping water into Tategami's face. He shook the loose water from his head. Ryou shielded himself from the droplets with his hand, laughing as the wet hair sprang back into its normal disarray of spikes.

He lathered the top of Tategami's head with shampoo, sitting back in his lap and massaging his scalp.

"Can I do it to your hair?" Tategami reached out and combed his sand-colored fingers through Ryou's white hair.

Ryou glanced back, noting the lack of room. He reached back and pulled the drain to the water. "Since my hair is so long we'll need to stand."

Ryou turned on the shower and rinsed the bubbles out of Tategami's hair. Finished, he poured shampoo into Tategami's palm and turned away. Tategami worked the soap into Ryou's hair with his fingers moving in small, timid circles. Ryou smiled as he thought about the large hands, that could crush his throat without effort, rubbing gently through his hair. Tategami rinsed Ryou's hair with the same care, shielding Ryou's eyes from the spraying water and moving his fingers slow so they wouldn't snag or catch.

Ryou managed to reign in his desire when they'd stopped kissing, but when Tategami's soft touches extended from his hair to the rest of his body his mind swooned. They stood together for several minutes, Tategami's fingertips exploring Ryou's body with ghost-like caresses. Before Ryou lost control of himself again, he turned off the shower. Tategami wrung out the excess water in Ryou's hair and then his own. Ryou grabbed two towels and flung one over Tategami's head, laughing. Tategami pulled the towel from his face and used it as a sling, wrapping it around Ryou's waist and using it to pull Ryou's body into his.

Ryou gasped as their bodies crashed together with a wet smack. Tategami used his towel to dry Ryou's skin and hair. Ryou returned the gesture with his own towel.

"Are you hungry?" he asked after they were dry.

"A little."

"Today I'll teach you how to make ichigo daifuku. It's delicious."


	7. Little Deathshipping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Extra Disclaimer: I know y'guys have enough common sense not to go and do things that you read about in fanfics, but just to feel like a responsible writer I'm going to add an extra "don't try this at home" warning because of the erotic asphyxiation in the story. To be honest, it's only in this fic for symmetry purposes.***
> 
> \---
> 
> "Deathshipping": Named so because it's a common belief (which I don't agree with) that Ryou wouldn't survive the experience.
> 
> "La Petite Mort": It means "The Little Death" it's a euphemism for orgasm (often found in literature, particularly poetry, (particularly John Donne poetry), lol).
> 
> "Little Deathshipping": Same as Deathshipping, only more fun ;) This story is a bit of a pun - playing on the term Deathshipping and the notion of La Petite Mort. [which makes Yami Marik toasting Ryou's death in the 1st chapter very funny, but not as funny as Ryou toasting back "Momento Mori" or "remember that you (also) will die" I didn't *intend* to put that in there, but when I re-read it and realized what I'd done, I couldn't stop laughing so I had to share it with the rest of you. I'll stop being a Lit nerd now so y'guys can read the lemon, sorry.***

Ryou woke up on the sofa with a sore neck. He remembered eating ichigo daifuku while watching  _One Stormy Night_  with Tategami and falling asleep afterward. He looked around, but saw neither Tategami nor Marik so Ryou stumbled to his own bed and went back to sleep. Past noon, when Ryou woke again, he fidgeted in his room and tried to kill time. He made lunch and took a shower, although he'd taken one the night before with Tategami. As he dried his hair he could hear Marik moving about the living room. Ryou sighed, closing his eyes. He wanted to see Tategami, wanted to touch and taste him. Since waking up hung over a week ago, Ryou'd planned on baiting and switching Tategami's blood-lust with an urge equally primal but far less dangerous, and now he wanted to enjoy the results of his machinations.

Ryou went to his room, staring at his clothing, loathing every shirt, feeling stupid about anguishing over a garment he only planned on wearing for three minutes. He settled for a pair of silky, black boxer shorts, thinking he'd throw on a t-shirt and pair of jeans at the last second. Ryou examined himself in the mirror, poking his ribs and wishing he wasn't quite so skinny. Out of boredom, he made strange faces in the mirror. Ryou didn't realize Tategami was in the room until his reflection appeared behind Ryou in the mirror and Tategami asked, "Ryou, what are you doing?"

Ryou jumped and spun around, laughing from embarrassment. "Waiting for you." He walked away from the mirror and closer to the bed, feeling the blush on his cheeks.

"You're so strange."

Ryou shrugged, giving Tategami a sheepish smile. He combed his fingers through his hair, trying to think of how to start.

Tategami helped, walking up to Ryou. He only wore khakis and the muscles stretched across his bare chest and down his stomach. He lifted his hand, his touch soft against Ryou's collarbone. Ryou dragged a shuddering breath into his lungs, exhaling slow and catching Tategami's gaze. "Hey, Tategami?"

Tategami raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Trying to avoid death again?"

Ryou grinned. "No. Not this time. I  _want_  you to kill me – a little bit."

Tategami dropped his hand, his expression concerned.

Ryou leaned against the wall. "Have you ever heard of  _la petite mort_?"

"No?" he said the word as a question, still unsure of the situation.

"People used to think that an orgasm shortened one's life.  _La petite mort_  is a euphemism that translates to  _the little death_."

"Little death?"

Ryou nodded. "Yes. Remember a few days ago when you said that the problem with killing me is that you'd only be able to enjoy it once then never again?"

Tategami shook his head yes.

"This you can do over and over - a small death, for each of us, every night."

Tategami watched Ryou's face as he spoke. After a moment of silence he asked, "how?"

"You already know how." Ryou took Tategami's hand and guided his fingers down his swan-white throat and lower to his chest, resting Tategami's hand over his heart and saying, "stop fearing your instincts, Tategami, they're not all bad."

Tategami swallowed, leaning a little closer. "I just, I don't want to hurt you."

"But at the same time," Ryou interrupted, "something inside you wants to hear me scream and see me drop beside you, my body limp and my hair fanned out in every direction."

Color pushed past Tategami's darker complexion, turning his cheeks ruddy. He kept licking his lips until they gleamed in the lamp light.

Ryou half sang, half whispered, " _I can see inside your mind now_ _. I know just what you want and how_ _._ "

Tategami closed his eyes. "Ryou."

Ryou continued, "y _ou know just what I want_ _so do it do it do_ _it."_

"Ryou. Ryou? Is it really okay?"

" _The voice inside your_ _head_ _. Listen_ _to it_."

Tategami lifted Ryou up by his hamstrings and slammed him against the wall. He sought after Ryou's tongue with his own, kissing him until Ryou moaned. Ryou draped his arms around Tategami's neck, his wrists crossed together. Tategami licked the outline of Ryou's mouth. His licks turned to small, gentle bites trailing down Ryou's neck and shoulder.

"Mmm. Harder. Please."

Tategami listened, allowing his teeth to sink into Ryou's white skin. He lifted Ryou into the air, carrying him to the bed and laying him down on the sheets. Tategami stripped Ryou of his boxers and dropped his own pants to the carpet. Ryou reached into the nightstand, finding the Spirit's bottle of lube in the top drawer. He rubbed clear gel on Tategami's phallus. He groaned from Ryou's touch. Tategami coated his fingers with lube and started pumping inside Ryou with two fingers, adding a third straight away. Ryou held Tategami's shoulders as he worked, grateful to Marik and the Spirit for already breaking in his body to the act of sex because he did not want to go slow. Tategami had all his fingers inside Ryou, down to his knuckles. Ryou cooed and panted in Tategami's ear, still holding on to his shoulders.

Tategami curved his fingers up, a sharp, delirious feeling scrambled Ryou's mind. He squirmed into Tategami's touch and cried out.

"Yes. Struggle." Tategami breathed the words into Ryou's ear.

Ryou bit into Tategami's throat, hard, solid bites.

Tategami growled, withdrawing his hand and slamming his erection into Ryou. Ryou grabbed and pulled at Tategami's hair, encouraging him to thrust deep. He dug his heels into the mattress to give his hips leverage to hike up into Tategami's body.

"Ryou!"

"Ta-ah, gah, mmm. Shit. I should have given you a shorter name."

Tategami snorted out a breath of laughter. "Victims should be silent except for moans and screams."

Ryou retorted between breaths. "But I'm not a victim. Didn't show you  _Crimson Spell_  just because it was well drawn."

"Because it was well written?"

Ryou's side hurt with laughter while Tategami's thrusts made his intestines feel like Ryou free fell from one hundred stories high. His fingers curled around Tategami's ass, fingernails pushing into the darker skin. They held together, moving and shifting and making Ryou's headboard clank against the wall. Ryou reached out and pushed back on the headboard to try and mute the noise but the attempt did nothing to dull the sound so he forfeited and refocused on Tategami pushing into him.

A quarter of an hour later, Tategami's pants grew helpless and breathy. "I feel hot inside."

"Don't stop."

"Will you kiss me?"

"Yes." He gave Tategami's ass one last squeeze and relocated his arms around Tategami's neck, his legs knotting around Tategami's lower back. Ryou brushed his lips against Tategami, teasing him, on the third sweep Ryou pressed into his mouth, sucking on Tategami's lower lip. Tategami moaned, his thrusts became rigid. Ryou felt Tategami hold his breath as he came and then sigh, breaking their kiss as he slumped into the crook of Ryou's neck.

"Good?" Ryou asked.

Tategami nodded his head, still hiding beside Ryou's shoulder.

Ryou petted Tategami's hair, still breathless and wanting. "Can we switch?"

Tategami looked up at Ryou and nodded his head a second time.

Ryou lay Tategami on his back, finding the bottle that they'd tossed off the bed in their urgency. Ryou moved two fingers back and forth. "Tell me if it hurts or gets uncomfortable, okay?"

"I will."

When Ryou entered him, Tategami gasped, screwing his eyes shut and clutching the sheets on either side of his body.

"Is it okay?" Ryou asked.

Tategami nodded a third time, adding, "yeah. It's strange, but good."

Ryou bent down, pulling at Tategami's mouth in slow kisses. Tategami's body relaxed and he sunk a little deeper into the mattress. Tategami opened his eyes and caressed Ryou's cheek. Ryou found his rhythm, moving his hips in fast circles. Tategami's hands wandered over Ryou's sides and he whispered encouraging words into Ryou's ear. He watched Ryou's face, smiling. "Your heart's speeding up."

Now Ryou nodded, his oncoming climax welling up from between his thighs.

"And you trust me?"

"Yes." Ryou gasped, closing his eyes.

He screamed as his orgasm began but the sound died when Tategami's hands lighted on Ryou's throat. For a second, Ryou didn't understand what Tategami was doing. The grip was firm but gentle, not dangerous, just enough to slow the blood flow that rushed to Ryou's brain. Then Ryou did understand as thin spiderwebs of light branched out behind his closed lids and time seemed to stop as his orgasm stampeded throughout his entire body. At the last moment, Tategami let go. Ryou crashed down on top of Tategami, unable to move, everything tingling.

Tategami petted Ryou's hair. "You do look kinda dead."

Ryou forced his head up enough to look at Tategami and smile. "Hey, Tategami?"

Tategami shook his head, eyes rolling slightly although he also smiled. "Yes, Ryou?"

"Promise you'll kill me again tomorrow."


End file.
